Daniel and I started birth classes at UVRMC this week. I think most of the things I’ll already know, but having knowledge is never a bad thing. Plus, it’s something to look forward to each week for 4 weeks. I have to laugh at some of the people in there though. Some of the guys are totally clueless. But, I guess that’s why you go to class, right?
Today I’m having a baby shower with my family. I’m really appreciative to my cousin, Vanessa, for throwing it for me. I’m pretty excited to get together with my family and have some fun.
This week I met with my boss about what my hours will be when I return to work. I was pretty sad to learn that I was going to have to keep my 9-5 M-F schedule. I don’t blame my job at all, I know that they have to do what they have to do. But, I do feel a little bit of remorse and sadness over not being able to be with my baby girl. We’re going to have to find someone to babysit Abigail from 9-12 on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. If you know of anyone who might be interested, let me know.
But, my work is going to be flexible with a lot of other things, and honestly, I’m really not in a bad position. Abigail will grow up in a stable home. And isn’t that the goal anyway? Sometimes you can’t have the perfect situation, but it is still a goal of mine to be a stay at home mom. One day I’ll get there.
Part of me kind of wishes I could just stay pregnant. I know that the next 6 weeks or so are going to be the last chance that I have to be with her all the time. I know that there have been a lot of discomforts of pregnancy, and obviously I can’t wait to meet her, but once she’s born I’m going to have to share her with the world. I was trying to explain to Daniel what her hiccups were like. And I realized that no one really gets to feel her move like I do. I am constantly aware of her presence. And, I hope that doesn’t change once she’s born..
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
33 Weeks
I’ve had a pretty eventful week. I got a nice long break from work for Christmas, and came back on January 4 ready to get back into the swing of things. By Saturday, I was completely exhausted. It’s getting really difficult for me to be at work for 8 hours straight. I’ve been trying to get our new copy machine online, and it’s involved a lot of bending, squatting, and other tasks. Luckily, I have 3 new interns that are around almost full time. So, I’ve been learning to utilize them more.
On Wednesday, I got really busy and forgot to pack/eat lunch. I figured I could just make it until dinner and I’d be okay. I did it all the time before I was pregnant. Well, it didn’t work so well. I’m not sure if this is correlated in any way, but I got home and made some spaghetti really quick for dinner. That night, I couldn’t breathe from around 10 pm to 2 am. I tried every remedy in the book. I could not lay down or be the littlest bit inclined or else I would get incredible chest pain and just struggle for every breath. I contemplated going to the hospital, but Daniel was pretty sick, and I didn’t want to go all that way for them just to say, “So... you’re 33 weeks pregnant and can’t breathe? What would you like us to do?” So, I took some Tylenol, and sat on the couch propped up by pillows. I was finally able to sleep at 2 am. Next time, I think I’ll call labor and delivery first and see if they want me to come in or not. It was a really scary experience.
This weekend Daniel and I babysat my younger siblings while my parents went to San Diego. We went to church with them, and I can’t tell you how many people said, “You’re due in February?! You’re so small!” I guess to others I look a lot smaller than I feel. It doesn’t bother me when people tell me I’m small as long as they don’t imply that I’ve had a super easy pregnancy because I don’t weigh as much as they did.
My pregnancy “blues” have begun to subside. I didn’t write about it on this blog, but I’d been feeling really down for about 3 weeks. It was just like I felt empty. My doctor said it was probably not a big deal since I’ve had a lot that I’ve been dealing with. And, I think he was right. Now that I’m getting closer to my due date, I’m feeling much happier and optimistic about the whole thing.
This week I thought a little about a “birth plan.” I’m not going to be one of those people that walks into the hospital with a list of demands about my birth, but I think it’s good to have an idea and be prepared when situations arise. Things like, will Daniel cut the cord? Do I want the baby to be cleaned up a little before I hold her? How long do I want to wait before getting an epidural? Do I want an episiotomy, or should I risk tearing? It’s a lot of stuff to think about. We’re starting our birthing classes at the hospital on Wednesday. I hope that they’ll go over some of those things.
On Wednesday, I got really busy and forgot to pack/eat lunch. I figured I could just make it until dinner and I’d be okay. I did it all the time before I was pregnant. Well, it didn’t work so well. I’m not sure if this is correlated in any way, but I got home and made some spaghetti really quick for dinner. That night, I couldn’t breathe from around 10 pm to 2 am. I tried every remedy in the book. I could not lay down or be the littlest bit inclined or else I would get incredible chest pain and just struggle for every breath. I contemplated going to the hospital, but Daniel was pretty sick, and I didn’t want to go all that way for them just to say, “So... you’re 33 weeks pregnant and can’t breathe? What would you like us to do?” So, I took some Tylenol, and sat on the couch propped up by pillows. I was finally able to sleep at 2 am. Next time, I think I’ll call labor and delivery first and see if they want me to come in or not. It was a really scary experience.
This weekend Daniel and I babysat my younger siblings while my parents went to San Diego. We went to church with them, and I can’t tell you how many people said, “You’re due in February?! You’re so small!” I guess to others I look a lot smaller than I feel. It doesn’t bother me when people tell me I’m small as long as they don’t imply that I’ve had a super easy pregnancy because I don’t weigh as much as they did.
My pregnancy “blues” have begun to subside. I didn’t write about it on this blog, but I’d been feeling really down for about 3 weeks. It was just like I felt empty. My doctor said it was probably not a big deal since I’ve had a lot that I’ve been dealing with. And, I think he was right. Now that I’m getting closer to my due date, I’m feeling much happier and optimistic about the whole thing.
This week I thought a little about a “birth plan.” I’m not going to be one of those people that walks into the hospital with a list of demands about my birth, but I think it’s good to have an idea and be prepared when situations arise. Things like, will Daniel cut the cord? Do I want the baby to be cleaned up a little before I hold her? How long do I want to wait before getting an epidural? Do I want an episiotomy, or should I risk tearing? It’s a lot of stuff to think about. We’re starting our birthing classes at the hospital on Wednesday. I hope that they’ll go over some of those things.
Glucose Sucks
I had my 37-week appointment today. While I was there, he said that he wanted to do the 1-hour screening. So, I drank the sugary drink and read my book for an hour.
I failed. Which means I have to go back next week and do the 3 hour test. I’ve been having some pretty strange issues with sugar lately, so I wouldn’t be shocked if I had gestational diabetes. That doesn’t mean I want to have it though. Especially with Christmas right around the corner.
Getting the drink down wasn’t bad, but I’ve been feeling pretty lousy all day. I feel really sick to my stomach and I have a headache. Blegh.
On the up side though, there has been a cute little foot in my ribs all day long. I can feel it moving around in there.
I failed. Which means I have to go back next week and do the 3 hour test. I’ve been having some pretty strange issues with sugar lately, so I wouldn’t be shocked if I had gestational diabetes. That doesn’t mean I want to have it though. Especially with Christmas right around the corner.
Getting the drink down wasn’t bad, but I’ve been feeling pretty lousy all day. I feel really sick to my stomach and I have a headache. Blegh.
On the up side though, there has been a cute little foot in my ribs all day long. I can feel it moving around in there.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
My Own Parking Space
The lead custodian at the building I work at dropped by my office today. She said that her and some of the others working in the building saw me walking to my car “looking very pregnant” the other day. She said they are going to be putting out a cone in one of the parking spots close to the building. That way I don’t have to walk as far.
Early Christmas present to me! I was so thankful for this. Especially once it starts to get cold.
Early Christmas present to me! I was so thankful for this. Especially once it starts to get cold.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The Winter of the Orange
This Summer all I wanted to eat was fresh tomatoes. Not from the store, mind you, they had to come from people’s gardens. One night for dinner I ate 8 tomatoes with salt. It was awesome. The Summer of the Tomato has passed.
Now on to the winter of the orange. I have eaten 2 oranges today, and I will probably eat a few more before the end of the night. I like orange juice, but not as much as I like just a plain old orange.
Want to know what to get me for Christmas, or maybe even a baby shower? A box of oranges or clementines.
Now on to the winter of the orange. I have eaten 2 oranges today, and I will probably eat a few more before the end of the night. I like orange juice, but not as much as I like just a plain old orange.
Want to know what to get me for Christmas, or maybe even a baby shower? A box of oranges or clementines.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
About Being a Mother
My perspective on what kind of mother I’d be has changed a lot since I was a little girl. I never was the type of girl that instantly replied “mother” when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I always said things like, teacher, or writer, or for most of my life, lawyer.
When I was in high school, I determined that I didn’t want to be a wife and mother, and I’d much rather be a politician. Part of me felt that way, but mostly I was making up for some insecurities I felt about just not being good enough for that lifestyle.
When I got to college and starting dating seriously, I realized that the mother dream was something I really did want. More than a career, or even heaps of degrees and education. When I got married I had dreams of staying home to raise a family.
Now that I’m getting close to actually having a family, things have changed a little. I don’t know when I’ll get to stay home with my family, or if I ever will. Daniel’s medical condition combined with his choice of career makes it difficult to forsee when I won’t need to work in order to keep current health insurance.
At first, I really struggled with this. I had grown up thinking that it just wasn’t possible to raise a family properly if the mom wasn’t home. Now I’m going to be one of those moms that just isn’t there all the time. Daniel and I seem to have worked out an arrangement where he will be home most of the time, while taking a few mornings a week for school. I am grateful that at least one of us will be able to be home with the baby all the time, but at the same time, I feel guilty because it’s not me.
I have a lot of fears about being a working mom. I want to breastfeed, but I know it’s difficult to keep a good supply when you are working full-time and having to pump most of the time. But, my biggest concerns are about the attachment I’ll have to my daughter. Will she know that I’m her mom? How many milestones will I miss out on? Will she think that I don’t love her as much as other moms who get to stay home all the time?
I am sure that most of these fears I have will be resolved once the baby is here and we’ve worked out a routine. And, I know that everything will work itself out, even if the situation isn’t ideal.
When I was in high school, I determined that I didn’t want to be a wife and mother, and I’d much rather be a politician. Part of me felt that way, but mostly I was making up for some insecurities I felt about just not being good enough for that lifestyle.
When I got to college and starting dating seriously, I realized that the mother dream was something I really did want. More than a career, or even heaps of degrees and education. When I got married I had dreams of staying home to raise a family.
Now that I’m getting close to actually having a family, things have changed a little. I don’t know when I’ll get to stay home with my family, or if I ever will. Daniel’s medical condition combined with his choice of career makes it difficult to forsee when I won’t need to work in order to keep current health insurance.
At first, I really struggled with this. I had grown up thinking that it just wasn’t possible to raise a family properly if the mom wasn’t home. Now I’m going to be one of those moms that just isn’t there all the time. Daniel and I seem to have worked out an arrangement where he will be home most of the time, while taking a few mornings a week for school. I am grateful that at least one of us will be able to be home with the baby all the time, but at the same time, I feel guilty because it’s not me.
I have a lot of fears about being a working mom. I want to breastfeed, but I know it’s difficult to keep a good supply when you are working full-time and having to pump most of the time. But, my biggest concerns are about the attachment I’ll have to my daughter. Will she know that I’m her mom? How many milestones will I miss out on? Will she think that I don’t love her as much as other moms who get to stay home all the time?
I am sure that most of these fears I have will be resolved once the baby is here and we’ve worked out a routine. And, I know that everything will work itself out, even if the situation isn’t ideal.
Friday, October 30, 2009
23 Weeks
I’ve only got two more weeks until the magical 25 weeks. That’s when the baby will have a good chance of survival outside the womb.
I’m feeling pretty good. My pelvis pain has subsided significantly, and the morning sickness is gone. I still throw up every once in awhile for no apparent reason, but I don’t have the nausea anymore.
Last week I got some fantastic deals at a consignment sale in Spanish Fork. Since I’m returning to work, I won’t be able to breastfeed like I’d really like to. But, I got a fantastic electric breastpump for $100. I really want to try pumping for as long as I can.
I also got a baby tub for $1, a Baby Bjorn carrier for $10, and a little play floor gym thingy for $7. It was definitely worth my while to go.
Daniel still hasn’t felt Abigail kick. There is this strange phenomenon where she’ll be kicking up a storm and then as soon as he puts his hand on to feel, she stops.
I’m feeling pretty good. My pelvis pain has subsided significantly, and the morning sickness is gone. I still throw up every once in awhile for no apparent reason, but I don’t have the nausea anymore.
Last week I got some fantastic deals at a consignment sale in Spanish Fork. Since I’m returning to work, I won’t be able to breastfeed like I’d really like to. But, I got a fantastic electric breastpump for $100. I really want to try pumping for as long as I can.
I also got a baby tub for $1, a Baby Bjorn carrier for $10, and a little play floor gym thingy for $7. It was definitely worth my while to go.
Daniel still hasn’t felt Abigail kick. There is this strange phenomenon where she’ll be kicking up a storm and then as soon as he puts his hand on to feel, she stops.
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