Happy Graduation

Today our little Poppyseed has graduated from an embryo to a fetus. Yay!

Daniel and I were able to hear Poppy’s heart beat at the doctor’s office today. He said, “Now, don’t worry if I can’t find it, that’s pretty normal at this stage.” But, almost immediately when he put the doppler on, we could hear it. It was so cool! I’ve heard some people say that they’ve cried when they first heard it. I didn’t cry, I laughed. Yeah, mostly because it was just really surreal. It definitely made the whole being pregnant thing more real.

And, in other good news, I got a prescription for my nausea. The doctor was sooooo unbelievably nice, I didn’t have to beg at all. I’m really hoping it makes working a little easier.

At this point, I’m just about ready to publicly announce my pregnancy. I’m just waiting for a good chance to let my boss know the news. (I figure it’s only fair to inform him in person.)

Having My Baby

I think everyone thinks babies are cute. I am certainly one of those people. However, I like to observe babies from a distance.

As the oldest of five kids, I helped care for my brothers and sisters. I liked holding them, and playing with them. (Not so much changing them). When I got to be a teenager, something changed. I didn’t like to hold babies. I always felt nervous that I’d make them cry and be unable to comfort them.

Even now, I’m fine holding and taking care of babies, but it’s not comfortable for me. I always feel uneasy like I am doing something wrong. Or, that the baby is going to know I’m an impostor and not its mother.

One of the things I am looking forward to is having a baby of my own. One that knows that I’m its mother, and wants me to hold it. Babies in the womb can start hearing at 18 weeks, which means there is about 22 weeks of hearing lots and lots of me. How exciting!

Toilet Paper Tuesday

Here’s something fun to lighten my morning sickness mood. Every week on Tuesday, I’ll grab a roll of toilet paper and use it to measure my tummy.

Today at 9 weeks I’m 8.5 sheets around. Yay!

Later this afternoon I’ll be going to see the doctor for some bloodwork and medical history. I am pretty sure I’m going to ask him for some nausea meds. Then I should be close to my normal self again.

Trip to Denver

This past week I had the opportunity to go to Denver to learn about the wonders of CMS, which is the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. It’s a big part of what I do at work, and I am guessing that isn’t going to change anytime soon.

Monday before we left, I felt awful. I couldn’t hold anything down for more than 15 minutes or so. I knew it was going to be a great trip. Southwest Airlines was extremely gracious, and recognizing my plight, allowed me to pre-board, guaranteeing me an aisle seat near a bathroom. Luckily, that flight was incident-free.

I made it to every event at the conference that pertained to my work. Afterwards though, I just slept. A lot. Most times Daniel had to bring back take-out. He’s so good like that.

Thursday, we flew back. That was a nightmare of a trip. The woman at the security counter was seriously taking 5 minutes to analyze each driver’s license picture. Then, when Daniel and I got to the counter I put my ticket and ID on her stand, she went on to the next customer. I said, “Have you already checked my ticket?” She said, “Were you with him?” I said, “Yes.” She said, “Oh, I didn’t know.” And then went on to the next person. It’s not like we were in a hurry, we were 3 hours early. But, I wasn’t feeling well and needed to sit down. Stupid lady.

Southwest let me pre-board again, and the stewardess was extremely friendly and kind. She kept bringing me extra bags, and cleaning up without any complaint. She even brought me cold wet towels to put on the back of my neck. I was so appreciative.

Now I’m home, and I’m contemplating my next step. Do I bring up the nausea to my doctor next week? I’ve been taking Unisom and Vitamin B6 every night, plus eating small meals all day long. It only seems to be working about 50% of the time. Is it time to try something a little stronger? If I have another week like last week, I’ll be very sad. I feel like a failure at work, and a no-good slug at home. I can’t seem to find the energy or strength to get anything done. I just hope this goes away soon.

8 Weeks!

Oh man, each Thursday is better than the last. After staying home from work yesterday, I was able to make it through most of the day today.

So, here’s what’s happening at 8 weeks!

Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it.

That baby may be small, but it’s certainly doing a lot. I’ve got two more weeks until my next appointment where we’ll get to hear the heartbeat. I’m really excited. And, I’ve heard a lot of these terrible symptoms go away at 13 weeks. So, I’ve got about 5 more to go!

Everything Smells

Man, do I feel crazy! There are a few things that I thought were “myths” or “overreactions” about pregnancy. Morning sickness was one. The other is sensitivity to smell. My mom used to complain about this and I thought she was nuts. But, everything smells. I can’t go into the kitchen most days. They are re-roofing the courthouse where I work, and it reeks of tar all the time. The other strange thing is that water smells really fishy. Which is sad, because I love water.

I was eating a frozen juice bar, and about halfway through, the bar tasted like metal. I asked Daniel to taste it, and he said it tasted fine to him.

I know this is probably really inappropriate for me to say this, but I can’t wait until the second trimester.

XX or XY?

When I went in for my first appointment, one of the nurses asked if I wanted a boy or a girl. I said, “I don’t much care, as long as it’s healthy.”

And, I still feel that way. Basically, I waited a long time for this to happen. I know it makes me sound like a whiner, and a year isn’t that long for some people, but it really was a trying time for me. I had pretty much made up my mind that having children of my own just wasn’t going to happen for me.

So, I guess I feel a little bit surprised when I just don’t feel attached to this baby. When all I’m feeling is sick all the time, and nothing else, it’s really hard to get excited. I haven’t heard a heartbeat, so I really don’t have proof that anything is happening in there. It’s been a real struggle to not go out and buy more pregnancy tests just to make sure.

I’m hoping that once I hear the heartbeat, and then find out the gender later, I will feel more attached.

And, to answer the first question, I change my mind over what I prefer every single day. Somedays I really want a girl, because I know I’ve pretty much got the name down. Other days I want a boy so that Daniel can take him camping, hiking, and on other boy adventures. Either way though, I’ll be happy with whatever I get.

Week 7

Besides the morning sickness being in full swing, I’m doing pretty well. I may be one of the few pregnant women that doesn’t want sweets and chocolates. I’ve never wanted fresh fruits and veggies more in my entire life. Thank goodness it’s summertime.

We’ve started telling more people, and everyone has been really excited, of course.

I can’t think of much more to write right now, but I guess if there is anything you want to know, leave it in the comments section. The computer screen is starting to make me sick, so I’m about done now. 33 more weeks to go!

6 Weeks

Just in case the picture on the front page creeps you out as much as it creeps me out, take a look at this cutie!!

Baby peanut is the size of a jellybean this week. I feel thick. I’m not showing, but my jeans don’t fit super well, and I can’t wear tight-ish shirts anymore.

I feel sick pretty much all the time except for about 30 minutes after I eat an actual meal. For some reason snacks don’t do as well. I hate driving, since it makes me feel really carsick. I get really sick by the time evening rolls around, and in the morning I’m usually very tired.

I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, because I don’t mind the constant sickness. It is kind of reassuring.

Daniel is in Colorado for a family reunion this weekend. I couldn’t do eight hours in a car, so I stayed behind. I never like it when he’s gone, and I can’t wait until Sunday when he gets back.