XX or XY?

When I went in for my first appointment, one of the nurses asked if I wanted a boy or a girl. I said, “I don’t much care, as long as it’s healthy.”

And, I still feel that way. Basically, I waited a long time for this to happen. I know it makes me sound like a whiner, and a year isn’t that long for some people, but it really was a trying time for me. I had pretty much made up my mind that having children of my own just wasn’t going to happen for me.

So, I guess I feel a little bit surprised when I just don’t feel attached to this baby. When all I’m feeling is sick all the time, and nothing else, it’s really hard to get excited. I haven’t heard a heartbeat, so I really don’t have proof that anything is happening in there. It’s been a real struggle to not go out and buy more pregnancy tests just to make sure.

I’m hoping that once I hear the heartbeat, and then find out the gender later, I will feel more attached.

And, to answer the first question, I change my mind over what I prefer every single day. Somedays I really want a girl, because I know I’ve pretty much got the name down. Other days I want a boy so that Daniel can take him camping, hiking, and on other boy adventures. Either way though, I’ll be happy with whatever I get.