Having My Baby

I think everyone thinks babies are cute. I am certainly one of those people. However, I like to observe babies from a distance.

As the oldest of five kids, I helped care for my brothers and sisters. I liked holding them, and playing with them. (Not so much changing them). When I got to be a teenager, something changed. I didn’t like to hold babies. I always felt nervous that I’d make them cry and be unable to comfort them.

Even now, I’m fine holding and taking care of babies, but it’s not comfortable for me. I always feel uneasy like I am doing something wrong. Or, that the baby is going to know I’m an impostor and not its mother.

One of the things I am looking forward to is having a baby of my own. One that knows that I’m its mother, and wants me to hold it. Babies in the womb can start hearing at 18 weeks, which means there is about 22 weeks of hearing lots and lots of me. How exciting!